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Saturday, 23 July 2005

potek. nag-expire na yung Xanga Premium Trial ko. di na ako pwedeng mag-edit ng blog skin (unless syempre magbayad ako ng $100. pero imposible. wala akong ganyang pera) so i'm back using my tabulas account...http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms. idedelete ko na tong blog sooner or later. sige. sayonara

http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms

http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms

http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms

http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms

http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms

http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms

http://tabulas.com/~necrorealms

Sunday, 17 July 2005

I swear I'm gonna delete this within...uhm...until I feel fully satisfied with my life...which...uhm...is never...yata...Please don't read it. Bad mood ako.

HATE LETTER(actually, more of unfinished depressed letter to) -to...uhm...basta...

Tang*na. Kung akala mo na mas nasasaktan ka sa akin, kung akala mo na mas nababaliw ka para sa kanya kaysa sa akin, kung akala mo na mas kaya mo ibigay ang lahat para sa kanya, nagkakamali ka. Talagang nagkakamali ka. Hindi mo ba alam kung gaano ako nasasaktan kung nakikita ko kayong magkasama---palaging nakangiti, tumatawa, nasisiyahan? Hindi mo ba alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko kung ikaw lang ang pinapansin niya at tuwing iniiwasan niya ako? Hindi mo ba alam kung gaano kahirap na itago sa iyo ang aking galit kasi alam ko na magmumukha akong tanga sa lahat ng tao?

Shet. Ayun, tignan mo. Nagmumukha na akong gaga. Maliit na bagay, nagwawala na bigla ako? Pathetic. Nababaliw na ako. Naiinis na ako.

Ilang beses na gusto kong ilabas lahat ng galit ko pero parati ko na lang sinasabi sa sarili ko, "Wala itong kwenta, wala itong saysay, tang*na. Bakit ba? Wala akong karapatan na masaktan". Ganun ba yon? WALA BA AKONG KARAPATANG MASAKTAN? Alam kong kaibigan kita, pero bakit pinaparamdam mo na magkaaway tayo? Sa maliit na bagay, kailangan nating mag-away? Ganun ba, para sa iyo, kalaki ang kasalanan ko sa iyo? Ganun ba, para sa akin, kalaki ang kasalanan mo sa akin? P0ta. Ganyanan na ba?!

//unfinished.

Sunday, 10 July 2005

Hehe....I just remebered about the unfinished novel that I made last year. I'm just gonna post the fanfic that Ms. Dark Satanist wrote. Hehe. I don't expect you guys to enjoy it as we have...It's because we based it from 2 people in Pisay who we thought would look cute together.

Chapter 214
Dark Satanist

Gari watched onwards as the falling raindrops hit the surface of the lake. He found serenity in his wholeness, not noticing the penetrating cold of raindrops on his tattered pink dress---tattered, because he was trying to take it off since he arrived at the lake side. He muttered to himself how he would get revenge upon Kitsu.

But then...

"Gari? What are you doing here? And you're all wet! You might get a fever!"

"A...Shichi-kun!"

"What's the problem?"

Gari quickly found himself telling what happened at during the art fashion show, on how his classmates from Section A forced him to wear a dress, the Values Education presentation, Kitsu's irritating side comments, how he had run off leaving Kitsu victorious, and...and..

"Looking sexy to guys is your hobby? Well that must have set you off like a volcano!"

"Well, yeah. I cut Values Education because of that. Now this dress was for nothing."

As Gari said those words, he bagan to calm down as Shichi sat down next to him. He often wondered why he had always felt secure under Shichi's gaze, even when they were classmates in grade school. Only, that there were only the two of them in the lake side, he wondered why he felt even more secure than before.

"Besides, Gari, you really look cute in that dress..." Shichi said jokingly as he placed his arm on Gari's bare shoulder.

"No Shichi-kun, you are wrong, you...you are much cuter..." Gari said as he look into Shichi's eyes with a look of solemnity that betrayed what he felt inside...In a flash, his gaze returned to normal, and his eyes wandered off to the far shore of the lake.

Shichi understood and no reply was needed. He knew what Gari was feeling...he felt the same way, stemming from being close in their former school. He then smiled.

=========F=L=A=S=H=B=A=C=K==============================

Shichi tried his best to entertain his peers. As batch president, he was always called by many people. He was friendly, kind and generous. Almost all people thought he was an excellent leader and a wonderful friend.

Almost.

Gari , a lone figure seated at a corner of the class, was gazing at Shichi, being surrounded by a bunch of boys.

"What a fake" Gari muttered to himself, then promptly went out of the classroom unceremoniously. His classmates however, didn't notice him disappearing from the classroom. Except one...Shichi turned his gaze to the swinging door. He gave one sad look at Gari's back before attending to his demanding classmates.

//unfinished

Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down? 
Do you ever feel out of place? 
Like somehow you just don't belong 
And no one understands you 

Do you ever want to run away? 
Do you lock yourself in your room? 
With the radio on turned up so loud 
That no one hears you screaming 

No you don't know what it's like 
When nothing feels alright 
You don't know what it's like
To be like me 

To be hurt, to feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked when you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like 
Welcome to my life 

Do you wanna be somebody else? 
Are you sick of feeling so left out? 
Are you desperate to find something more 
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate? 
Are you sick of everyone around? 
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies 
While deep inside you're bleeding 

No you don't know what it's like 
When nothing feels alright 
You don't know what it's like
To be like me 

To be hurt, to feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked when you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like 
Welcome to my life 

No one ever lied straight to your face 
And no one ever stabbed you in the back 
You might think I'm happy 
But I'm not gonna be ok 
Everybody always gave you what you wanted 
You never had to work
It was always there 
You don't know what it's like 
What it's like 

To be hurt, to feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked when you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like) 

To be hurt 
To feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked 
When you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like 
Welcome to my life 

Welcome to my life 
Welcome to my life

Saturday, 02 July 2005

Hehe...Grabe. Nakakasakit sa mata ang blog ko. Pasensya.

Hay. Malapit na pala ang birthday ni mooncake. Ang saya. Wala naman akong regalo para sa kanya. Sad.

Anyways, don't get me started on how my day went. True we didn't have classes yesterday but the requirements for next week were so much like hell. We have to memorize the ions stuff in chemistry. Then we have a long test in Bio, homework in Physics and Math. QUIZ in Physics and Math. Eng Journ homework. The list seems endless. Hehe.

Anyways, this week was so depressing. I dunno. I feel sad and unwanted.

Yeah right.

Fine. I am acting paranoid. Bagay naman sila eh.